Crohns Update #2

BEWARE: negativity ahead (followed by optimism).

I thought having a blog would be so easy. Like how hard could it be to WRITE a little excerpt a couple times a week on top of the usual, right?? WRONG. Anyway, I like to think that my content is good, but my frequency is CRAP, guys. I forgot how hectic birthday months are for us (May-August), AND my eldest starts school in August!! Every day is spent doing chores, managing kids, rushing around, trying to eat right... At the end of most days I literally sit in this wet-noodle position on my couch and stare at my phone until I can't keep my eyelids open anymore. Sometimes the husband is there next to me. Then I drag myself to bed.

Anyway, enough with the martyring. I wanted to share an update with all of you!

This journey has been a learning process for me. I thought it was just going to be like, "okay, here's what I'm going to do. And I'm going to get better. And that is that." I forgot somewhere along the lines that I am human, and, like most people, live a hectic life, temptations, and KIDS (who like to shake plans up for me all the time).

I started out strong. I was meal planning & prepping and sticking to it. I cheated with a serving of something here or there, and regretted it each time. But overall, I was feeling GREAT. So I thought--when, say, I made a delicious meal for my family, that I could nibble a bit here or there, and still be fine. AND YOU GUYS. It has taken me this long to truly learn. That doesn't fly when you have a digestive auto-immune disease!!! I'm SO embarrassed to even admit it--since I'm hosting this blog all about gut health, but I also feel that it's important to make myself vulnerable and maybe show someone else out there who is struggling that we all make mistakes... But here are my biggest areas of weakness, and where I have cheated: things like having a nibble of pizza I made for the family, having a slice of cheese on a burger that needed "flavor", when something is otherwise healthy EXCEPT it has--for example wheat flour or canola oil, slowly adding more "natural" sugars to my foods then overdoing it (<<that one is tough because it's easy to go over the 25-30g I am trying to stick to without tracking...so every time I start feeling crappy and I suspect it's because of too much sugar, I track my food. NOT so much for macros, but truly to monitor it). My body is SO DANG SENSITIVE. EVERY SINGLE TIME I have cheated, I face the repercussions after. And any time I have, I lie to myself that "I'll be fine this time". It's not a daily thing...more like a weekly thing. But ya know what?? I suffer that whole week. Now, I CAN say that I haven't OUTRIGHT just downed a slice of pizza, or gone out to buy a donut, or anything like that. It's little things here and there, and my lying to myself that a little won't hurt. Some things I have struggled with--even from the little things--are stomach pain (duh), bloating and gas, lethargy, and acne (never struggled with that until recently, and I suspect that one is directly correlated with sugar). And--SHOCKER--when I get back to the groove I feel well again! I often feel anger and embarrassment toward myself over these mistakes. And like, I SHOULD feel guilt of some kind--or, something to keep me from doing it again. But WHY do I do it?! A part of me is hoping that sharing this with anyone who reads this will keep me on the right track. Although truthfully, I think it's seeing the positive results and creating the mindset that I CANNOT fall off track--for myself, for my family--that will keep me where I need to be.

On a less self-deprecating note...I do have some things I have learned along the way!

1. Protein. Protein. And more protein. The more I eat, the better I feel!

2. There are some veggies I can eat with success (broccoli, zucchini, asparagus, and avocado are some faves!), some I should eat in moderation (cauliflower, sweet potatoes, onions, garlic), and some I shouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole (carrots, pretty much any fresh veggie--especially leafy ones). I should BINGE on the ones I CAN eat!!! I was having some issues with fatigue, and am pretty sure the reason was because--while I was technically sticking to compliant foods, I was NOT getting enough of these veggies!!!

3. It's easy to overdo it on sugar, because sugar is in EVERYTHING--even veggies. I am trying to make sure I keep my sugar intake low (25-30g per day). If I do well, I allow myself some fruit or a dollop of honey on toast or in coffee or something. If it's on the higher side early in the day, I don't do anything extra. My body does NOT do well with extra sugar... It's probably the main trigger for a flare out of any category of food.

4. Healthy fats are great! BUT! I can overdo it. And if I do it often makes me nauseous.

5. If I make myself a satisfying meal BEFORE I feed my family, it makes it a lot less tempting to "try" what they're eating.

6. I've been slowly trying to get my family to eat healthier--almost as healthy as me! That way I am eliminating the temptation. I will say, this is probably the hardest aspect for me. If this stuff wasn't in my house, I would never go out and buy it. But it's RIGHT THERE in front of me. And (*whiny moment*) it's harrrrd to stay away completely. I've been doing things like

-trading crackers and chips for freeze dried or baked veggies and fruits (Trader Joe's FTW!!)

-Making them MY meals as often as I can. They are picky about some, but we compromise where we can

-Keeping cookies in the house that DON'T tempt me as a form of bribery for the kids to eat "my" meals when they don't care for them (this may be a bad parenting move..? But hey, I get them to eat their salmon and asparagus this way!!)

This lifestyle--so far--has been a process. I wake up daily and make the choice to eat/do right. Oftentimes I fall behind on one thing (like veggies), or eat too much of another (like sugar). I'm sure there will come a day when I don't give it much thought, and just DO. But right now, I'm still learning, and TRYING not to beat myself up over mistakes made, but rather learn from them (and stop making dumb decisions!!! lol).

I have tried some new things here and there that veer from my original list (here), based on success of others in the Whole30/Paleo/Keto/gut-health community. Here is what did and did not work for me:

YES

• Sourdough bread (TRUE sourdough, aka no yeast and short list of ingredients - in moderation)

• Spices, such as paprika, chili powder, cumin (in moderation)

• Stewed tomatoes (in moderation)

• Cultured cottage cheese (in moderation)

• Brown rice (soaked ONLY - in moderation)

• Oats (soaked ONLY - in moderation)

• Pineapple (in moderation)

NO

• Bell peppers (a nightshade)

• Aged cheddar

• Quinoa

• Yogurt that contained pectin with only a few strains of bacteria

All in all, I can definitely see that my plan is working. Even on the "bad" days, I still feel better than I did on my BEST days in years past. It's hard work, but I don't intend on ever giving up; only getting better. NOW. If only I can get back to posting weekly/bi-weekly blogs...